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Loneliness has been called “The plague of the 21^st century”. How ironic! “Aren´t we living in a communication society?” asks Kadri Eisenschmidt, a TU master student of communication.

The graphic designer, Shimi Cohen strikingly illustrates the relationship between loneliness and social networks. He claims that we are not capable of having personal knowledge of more than 150 people. Many of us have a much longer list of Facebook contacts.

We spend the lion´s share of our time and energy to seem successful, happy, bold and beautiful. The more socially active we seem, the more Facebook contacts we have. We focus more on creating social capital rather than creating meaningful relationships. As long as all of our energy is directed like this, then at the end of the day we sit by the computer alone and probably are not as happy as our Facebook wall might suggest

It is for a good reason that many sociologists, anthropologists and psychologists have taken an interest in Facebook. It is different from earlier social networks. Information exchange on Facebook only takes place with mutual permission, which makes users feel safe. Before the advent of Facebook, it was generally thought that people might feel more anonymous in web interaction and might dare to live out supressed emotions and thoughts that they wouldn’t want to express in public or in real life. However, modern social networks have generally become less anonymous. These networks promote self-presentation and make interaction more like face-to-face encounters.

“At the end of the day we sit by the computer alone and probably are not as happy as our Facebook wall might suggest."

The aim of conscious self-presentation is not to deceive or hurt anybody. The aim is primal: interact with others in a useful and productive way. Man is mostly a social being. Geneticists have discussed the fact that the human species has not evolved to become much more efficient than the ape; this is not because we had physical characteristics and weapons that made us stronger and faster than other species, because to be honest, many predators were actually stronger and faster, but rather because we were friendly. Our eagerness to interact in our developmental stage led to cooperation. Working together made us a strong and clever team where all parties benefited. This facilitated the development of our species and here we are now. Our socially weaker comrades became extinct.

Because we are social creatures, the creation of a good impression is very important for each individual. If the aim of social networks, pursuant to the theory of social capital, is to support a person´s development and make it easier to deal with life’s challenges (for example, help in finding a job), then other people belonging to this network play an important role. There is even a saying: “Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are.” The image of a profile owner can also be shaped by his or her friend list.

Attractive people may give an impression of a profile holder as a popular person and add credibility. Existence of mutual friends is also a good indicator for a potential employer. A mutual friend may offer a first impression. If this person is reliable in the eyes of the employer, then the employer may seek information about the candidate from that person. Therefore more and more time is spent on creating lists of friends – more beautiful and more successful friends. People are not so much collected to develop meaningful and emotional relationships but more than before, they are collected for the purpose of creating social capital.

What happens if day after day we see successful and beautiful people all around us? What happens if all our contacts seem to be what we also wish to be? We feel increasingly bad or inferior in comparison to others.  

As a result, we find ourselves in a paradoxical trap in which we, and others, experience negative emotions by constantly sharing positive experiences. This is not a joke - in 2011, psychologists even created a term “Facebook depression” to describe the paradox.

Gradually, the form of depression arising from Facebook has become a general tendency of social networks facilitated also by such actions as #100happydays. The aim is to value small things that make one´s day happier, but it also produces social pressure to be happy all the time. So, even this originally sweet idea becomes a means of suggesting to yourself and others that life is in fact beautiful.

After we are already trapped in the circle, each mark of respect becomes important. The more we recreate our life, the more we are noticed. Our experiences become virtual and thereby collective.  And each like is a testimony to our presence.  It is the modern equivalent to “I was here” written on the wall of a building. It has just taken a new form. Times change. But actually it is the same cry against loneliness.

There is no doubt that web-based social networks simplify communication opportunities. People are more easily accessible and contacts are better retained. Relying on the previous hypothesis, this might be one of the pillars of our species. Every coin has two faces and emotional risks and negative phenomena also accompany this. Before we stamp web-based social networks as a blessing or the devil´s work, in the final assessment we should consider whether we benefit from such networks or are injured by them.

*The most well-known and used social network, Facebook, was created in 2004 in USA. Nowadays there are more than a billion monthly users in the world and every month about 25 million new users are added.

 

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